Want to be happier?

Want to be happier?

Wouldn’t you like to be happier? That is, without the aid of prescription pharmaceuticals? Most people spend their lives chasing after things they think will make them happy, like money, careers, or relationships, only to discover they’re no happier than they were before.

You would think winning the lottery would make you the happiest person in the world, but studies show lottery winners go back to their previous levels of happiness within five years.  If you get an unexpected windfall the areas of your brain that register pleasure light up temporarily, but if you receive that same amount on a regular basis (like a paycheck) it doesn’t have the same effect.

The opposite is also true for people who suffer terrible losses.  Studies show that paraplegics have the same level of happiness after one year as do lottery winners.  Our brains adjust to our environment and our circumstances and return to a sort of preset happiness baseline.

So does this mean nothing will keep us happy? That we should give up chasing after those things we think will make us happy? Even though money doesn’t bring lasting happiness it does buy some really cool stuff, a good career can bring a sense of fulfillment and purpose, and married couples are reported to be happier and married men for some reason tend to live longer than single guys.  And if you follow these five tips from the experts on being happy you can have all these things and more happiness, too:

Happiness Tip #1 – Keep a gratitude journal.

Research shows people who keep a daily journal of things they’re grateful for are generally more happy.  Spend a few moments free flowing whatever comes to mind that you’re grateful for and jot them down, things like “I am grateful for my health”, “I am grateful for my job”, or even “I am grateful for my shoes”.  Think briefly about what it would be like to not have things and remind yourself how much better your life is with them.

A research study from the University of California, Davis reports that people who keep gratitude journals exercise more regularly, have fewer physical symptoms, feel better about their lives, are more optimistic, and are more likely to make progress toward personal goals compared to subjects in a control group.

Happiness Tip #2 – Act like you’re happy.

When you’re feeling down your body language changes –  your shoulders slump, you move slowly,you  talk differently, your overall disposition changes.  When you’re happy you hold your head up high, you stand up straighter, you smile freely, and you move differently.  So try moving and acting like you’re happy when you’re not and you’ll be surprised to find you feel happier.  Smile when you least feel like it and keep a silly grin on your face for 30 seconds and see if you don’t feel just the slightest bit better.  Pull your shoulders back, hold your head up, and pretend you’re happy and before you know it you’ll start to feel happy.

Happiness Tip #3 – Spend time with friends.

A 2002 University of Illinois study by Dr. Martin Seligman, former president of the American Psychological Association, and “Dr. Happiness” Edward Diener, one of the leaders in the field of positive psychology, found that the most common characteristic of students that had the highest levels of happiness was their close ties with their friends of families and commitment to spending time with them.  Everyone is happier when they’re with people they care about, and just getting out and spending time with other people can give your happiness a boost.  The worst thing you can do when you’re feeling down is to be alone, so force yourself to get out, be around people, give old friends a call, or join a club or sign up for a class.

Happiness Tip #4 – You are what you think about.

James Allen says in his classic book “As A Man Thinketh”

“All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts… His suffering and his happiness are evolved from within. As he thinks, so he is; as he continues to think, so he remains.”

We are what we think about. If we dwell on unhappy thoughts and memories and focus all of our mental energy on worries and fears then we’ll be unhappy, worried, fearful people.

To combat feelings of unhappiness think of a time and place when you were really happy and mentally relive every last detail.  Transport yourself back in time, remember everything about that moment that made you happy, make it as real as possible in your mind, and in no time all those old emotions will start rushing back.

And just like the smell of freshly baked pumpkin pie brings back memories of Thanksgivings past, you can bring back your memories of happiness.  As you’re practicing this exercise find some way to anchor the moment in the past to something in the present.  Anthony Robbins’ suggestion to accomplish this is to do something physical like squeeze your elbow or gently pinch your thumb, and after you do this enough times all you’ll need to do is repeat the action to bring back the emotions.  Or you could use a familiar taste or smell, like a particular flavor of gum or essential oil.

Happiness Tip #5 – Do a good deed.

Psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky at the University of California at Riverside found that doing five kind acts a week, especially all in a single day, gave a measurable boost to her test subjects.  Dr. Seligman with the University of Pennsylvania made a similar discovery and recommends making a “gratitude visit”, writing a testimonial thanking someone who is important to you that you owe a debt of gratitude to and then visit that person to read him or her the letter of appreciation.  Dr. Seligman found that people who do this just once are happier and less depressed a month later.  Another method that doesn’t necessarily make you happier than the gratitude letter but lasts longer is to take time each day to write down three things that went well that day and why.

Give these five things a try this week and see if you don’t start feeling happier.   You have nothing to lose except the blues.

If they don’t work and your feelings of unhappiness get worse, or if you have thoughts of death or suicide, immediately find a mental health professional to talk to.   Even the happiest of us have days when we feel sad for no discernible reason and these five tips will help to get us feeling right again.  But persistent feelings of sadness that don’t go away need to be taken seriously and diagnosed by a psychologist or psychiatrist, and in this case anti-depressants might be warranted.

I hope these tips help you find more happiness in your life.  Thanks for reading!

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